In the Cleft of the Rock

I read this post by Beth Moore on her blog today. I've heard her speak of this same topic before and have never let it leave my mind. No matter how abandoned I may feel by God in whatever hardship I am going through, may I never forget that He is always with me.

"I often think back on Exodus 33 when an overwrought Moses asked God to show him His glory. Moses didn't understand that he wouldn't have survived the kind of revelation he'd requested. Instead of giving His servant what he asked, the Lord said to him,

There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. (V.22)

The next part is so wild:

Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.

Metaphorically speaking, the same thing can happen to us. When a shadow overtakes our lives and the light dims nearly beyond recognition, we may not see a single evidence of His arrival in our crisis. Sometimes we're in such blackness, we may go weeks or months that we don't sense God right by our side or feel the presence of His abiding Spirit within us. Those are the seasons when we make the choice whether we'll go by what we see and feel, or walk by what we know to be true. These are the places we learn what it really means to walk by faith and not by sight. To sow the seed of Scripture in our tears. It's often not until the crisis begins to dissipate that we look back upon the outstretched horizon and see God's hand prints all over it. No, we do not see His face, because, as Scripture says, our mortal bodies are not equipped to bear the sight. But, in a beautiful sense, we do indeed see His "back.' As the season draws to a close, we see that He took every single step we did.

We are quick to assume that all darkness is demonic but sometimes maybe the shadow over us is the hand of God covering us while His glory passes by."

May we each be astounded by the power and abiding Presence of God in 2010. May we continue to spur one another on to love and good works. May we see His glory...or sense His hand.

Shelter in a time of storm

Jeff and I went on Tuesday for another sonogram. We were hoping to see a fetal pole, to see the baby growing and progressing...but it looks like God had other plans for that baby with Him. The Dr. described the empty gestational sac in my womb as a blighted ovum. Basically, the placenta and sac developed, but everything that makes the baby didn't.

I am having a miscarriage and I am sad about it.

On Tuesday, Dec. 22, I will be having a D&C. Please pray that everything goes well during the procedure. I will be put under anesthesia and I don't know how my body will react to it. Please pray for that as well. I don't know who reads this, but if anyone is...thank you for the well wishes and prayer thus far. Jeff and Abbie and I are doing fine. We will make it through the other side, not completely unscathed, but still fully reliant on God. "He is my rock and my shelter. There is no other." Psa. 18

New beginnings

What's been going on with the Borcherdings? Well...on Thanksgiving day, after two years of trying, we finally got a positive pregnancy test! Yippee!! Congrats from all the family ensued...

According to my dates, I would have been about 10 wks pregnant, so obviously my Dr. squeezed me in for the first available appt. that next Monday, Nov. 30. I went to the Dr. and the exam was fine, she said I was a little small for my dates, so they did a sonogram. The sonogram only revealed that my uterus was "getting ready for a pregnancy," but there was no sac in the uterus. They also couldn't find one in the tubes or anywhere else. Needless to say, after Monday I was more than a little nervous.

My blood work came back and my HCG level was 210, which for a 10 wk pregancy, is way too low. I went back 48 hrs later. The HCG level should have doubled, it was 274. 48 hrs later, another blood test. HCG = 330. The numbers were going up, but not enough for a normal pregnancy. The Dr. was worried that it was an ectopic pregnancy or that I was starting to miscarry, although my # wouldn't be going up if I were miscarrying. In the meantime, my Dr. told me that if I had any heavy bleeding, to go straight to the ER. I wasn't very encouraged by that statement. So we had an inpatient weekend while we waited until Monday for another sonogram.

Today, Jeff and I went to the Dr. again to do another sonogram. We went in and waited an eternity, although it was prob. only 20 minutes :) for the Doc. She took us into the sono room and had me get changed. She was looking for an ectopic pregnancy (an implantation in my tubes as opposed to my uterus). They started the sonogram and immediately I knew this time was different. I saw my uterus and a tiny black dot to one side...that tiny black dot, as confirmed by the Dr., was a gestational sac! Measuring at 4-5 wks, the baby is still too small to see on ultrasound, but it is there! Dr. thinks everything looks good and on track at 4-5 wks! They drew more blood, to test HCG, progesterone, and thyroid levels and I'm going back on Tuesday (Dec.15) morning for another sonogram. This time we will hopefully be able to see the fetal pole. Then maybe I can finally get a due date!

Everyone who has know about this stuff this week has been praying constantly and for that I am SO thankful! God is so good and faithful!! Praise Jesus!

Surprises around the Corner

Saturday October 10, we all went to Central Park here in College Station to see the ducks and play on the playground. Abbie had a great time chasing the ducks and slam dunking on the basketball hoop. (kind of) When we were headed back home, we saw a hot air balloon in a field by our house and decided to stop and check it out. When we reached the balloon, they told us to get in line and have a ride--for FREE! We only went about 50 ft up in the air and came back down, but it was so fun. Most importantly, Abbie had the time of her life!

Abbie in front of the green swamp

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Get ready....

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Get Set....

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Slam dunk!!

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Beautiful 6 year old

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And then we saw this...

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Yeah! FREE hot air balloon ride!!

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Scratch that one off the list...

Jeff and I can finally scratch another item off our 'bucket list'-the list of things we want to do before we 'kick the bucket.' Last night, we drove to Houston to see U2 in concert. We left at 3:30pm and didn't stop until we got to Reliant Stadium. Well, that is what we would have liked to have happen, but I was in dire need of an Iced Caramel Macchiato and the Houston traffic had a mind of it's own!

From U2

But when we did finally get there, we had a BLAST! Muse was their opening act and they absolutely rocked! Jeff thought they were a little loud, but I loved it!

MUSE

From U2

Bono is the greatest!

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It was a Beautiful Day! (click me, I'm a video!)

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The stage was absolutely AMAZING!

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From U2

The Edge Rocks!

From U2

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Goodnight from Bono, Adam Clayton, The Edge, and Larry Mullen Jr.

From U2

For all of our pictures and videos from that night, click here

U2's playlist for the night: (3 encores!!):
Breathe
Get on Your Boots
Magnificent
Mysterious Ways
Beautiful Day
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
Stuck In A Moment
No Line on the Horizon
Elevation
Your Blue Room
Until The End of the World
Unforgettable Fire
City of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
I'll Go Crazy - Remix
Sunday Bloody Sunday
MLK
Walk On
One
Where The Streets Have No Name
Ultraviolet
With or Without You
Moment of Surrender

I almost forgot Abbie's birthday...

Well, I almost forgot to post about it! With our move and adjustment to College Station, I failed to post anything about Abbie's Birthday party on Aug.6.

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We held Abbie's party at Main Event. The kids bowled for an hour, ate pizza and cake, and then played in the arcade. She was very excited, to say the least.

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A bunch of friends and family came to share in her day and to say goodbye, since we were leaving that next week.

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For the actual day of her birth, Jeff, Abbie and I went to Kirby Lane Cafe for Abbie's annual Birthday breakfast. The pancake says, "Happy Bday" in chocolate syrup and the waitress gave Abbie a hot chocolate "on the house." Abbie LOVED it!

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Instead of bringing gifts for Abbie, we asked everyone to bring one stuffed animal of their choice to donate to Dell Children's Hospital Chaplain Program here in Austin. So after breakfast, we all headed over to the Children's Hospital to deliver the gifts. The chaplains there had prepared for Abbie's arrival by printing out a special certificate of merit for Abbie. We are all so proud of her willingness to share her birthday with other children in greater need.

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First Day of School

I'm back ... and so is school! Abbie started first grade on Monday and, in her own words, she "had the best day ever!" (To be read with all caps and exclamation points!) Her teacher is named Mr. Osth (pronounces without the 'h') and he seems to be a really great teacher. I wasn't so sure about him at Meet the Teacher night, but I was only judging him by his looks and not from any knowledge of his teaching ability. Sorry, Mr. Osth!

Here is Abbie with Mr. Osth...


And here she is in all her first grade glory!



Jeff and I also had a great first day of school.. We have decided to get some exercise, so that we can get healthier, of course, but also so that when we go back home, someone will say, "Wow you guys look great!" It's all about boosting our self confidence, you know! I kid...sort of.

There is a great park right down the street from whee we are renting called Wolf Pen Creek Park. It is so beautiful! It has nice paved walking trails, a playground, water fountains, and an outdoor amphitheater for concerts. It's awesome! Hopefully we will continue this so that it will become a habit. In the end, we really just want to be a good example to Abbie and to make sure that we are around when she gets older.